Someone very close to me died this week. Today is the service and I will have a speaking role. I originally pictured myself in the black suit, black tie traditional garb. Yesterday, the rest of the “inner circle” decided not to wear suits or ties, but rather dawn comfortable wear, which is their right to do during a very tough time.
As much as I like being the center of attention, this event is not about me. It’s about honoring the recently deceased, and those close. However, I don’t feel as though I can honor, properly, wearing comfortable shoes and a knit shirt.
So here’s what I’m going with: Dark suit (not black), shirt with cufflinks and a pocket square. The suit and cufflinks are formal. The pocket square will be a floral pattern. It’s my way of sending flowers. I feel this approach is respectful to the moment, not divergent from the “inner circle’s” desires, and most importantly frames the words I will be sharing. What you wear sets up an image for those you interact with. Your personality, your words, your smile emerge through that, but you always want to get off to the right start.
When a professional golfer birdies the first hole, he or she is saying, “I came to play”. There are 75 holes left to play to win the tournament, but that first impression sends a message that matters (to the media, the other players, and to their own brain).
I’m pleased with this approach. And the added bonus is that I won’t be mistaken for the limo driver.
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